#48: How Do I Stop A Bad Communication Spiral?

"Shut down! My husband had an affair, d-day was 14 months ago, and he is still in what I call shut down. We have the classic semi toxic codependant relationship, Im the anxious attached and he is the avoidant. The more he freezes and disassociate, the more my fight mode and anger rises, I call it my bulldozer... and you know how the rest of that dynamic goes! I have actually chosen to leave, because I don't think there is any future for the marriage, as long as he is so shut down. A part of me still wants to spend my life with him, but I am his biggest trigger, and he is mine, and it just seems hopeless as things are now. Prior to him cheating, he had some tough years, made very bad choices, that only made things worse, and I would say he was getting more and more depressed. Then he cheated, and now the depression is really bad. His go to answer, to what I feel like is almost everything, is "I don't know". My questions are where would you suggest someone like that to start in their healing process? What could be some good first steps? And how do you know if your disassociation comes from trauma or if there might be need for a diagnosis? I really love both your podcasts, and your youtube channel is great! I am really grateful and appreciative for all the work you put into bringing the help, hope and knowledge out! Thank you!" We would love to have you as a guest on the podcast. Go to realtalkrecovery.com to submit your question and sign up! Join us at our 3 Day "Rising Son" Men's Conference, September 23-25 2021 in Logan, Utah. This conference is for men who are ready to step into higher-level recovery. Sign up on our website: https://risingsonconference.com Brannon Patrick | "The Expert": Follow Brannon on instagram @brannon_patrick. For more info, find him at brannonpatrick.com. Check out Brannon's Boundary Bootcamp on his website. Tyler Patrick | "The Wandering Therapist": Tyler is a co-founder Love Strong (lovestrong.com). Check out the Love Strong YouTube Channel for more therapy tips and skills and videos about WHOLEHEARTED living and Christian Based Recovery. Instagram: @love.strong.organization