#35: Should We Shame Joel Olsteen? Is My Partner Having An Emotional Affair?

"Chivalrous Shaming!?!? Is it EVER okay to shame someone? Like when Joel Olsteen didn't offer his mega church for Hurricane Katrina victims, he was put on blast and then finally opened it up to them. Are there situations like that where it's acceptable to turn to shaming someone for what they should be doing that they aren't if it is for a greater good?" Starts at 15:14 "Am I screwed? Sounds rough I know. My wife and I disagree on whether she is having an affair. I say yes, 100% no-brainer. She says I am crazy. Why the differing perspectives? It is because I believe she is having an emotional affair with her best friend who is also female (if this person was a male there would be no ambiguity at all). I relate to the betrayal trauma as it makes sense of my world. We have gone to counseling and the counselor felt that yes, it is an emotional affair coupled with addiction. Again it makes sense of my world, but she vehemently disagrees on all fronts, refuses to go to counseling and continues to spend hours and hours every day with her friend and when apart constantly texting her with lines like "I love you more than life itself". This does not work for me but we have 4 kids, 2 of whom are still in the home and I have been reluctant to leave with the kids still at home. Is it possible to move forward as a couple and re-create connection when we have polar opposite views of the relationship she has with her friend? She has told me if there was an ultimatum given, of course she would chose me but would hate me for it. Does that not really say who she wants to chose? I have come to realize I had a weak boundary system and would constantly put myself in situations I was not comfortable with to avoid "rocking the boat" if you will. Historically I would say yes to everything even if deep down I really wanted to say no. This has changed and now I am viewed as not as nice as I once was. Basically, am I screwed and is it impossible to move forward when you cannot agree on what is going on with an outside relationship?" We would love to have you as a guest on the podcast. Go to realtalkrecovery.com to submit your question and sign up! Join us at our 3 Day "Rising Son" Men's Conference, September 23-25 2021 in Logan, Utah. This conference is for men who are ready to step into higher-level recovery. Sign up on our website: https://risingsonconference.com Brannon Patrick | "The Expert": Follow Brannon on instagram @brannon_patrick. For more info, find him at brannonpatrick.com. Check out Brannon's Boundary Bootcamp on his website. Tyler Patrick | "The Wandering Therapist": Tyler is a co-founder Love Strong (lovestrong.com). Check out the Love Strong YouTube Channel for more therapy tips and skills and videos about WHOLEHEARTED living and Christian Based Recovery. Instagram: @love.strong.organization