Our Children Parent Us-Byron Katie and Susan Stiffelman

Byron Katie and Susan Stiffelman talk about The Work and parenting teens, tweens, children, and grandchildren. They briefly discuss Katie's new book, A Mind at Home with Itself, the hair-raising, inspiring story of Katie's first year after her awakening experience. What is The Work? The Work makes it clear that the cause of our suffering is not what happens to us; it's what we believe about what happens. SS: My suggestion to parents is to slow down and stay as present as possible with the truth of what our child is going through, not the superimposed story of what we think the child is experiencing. The Work is an incredible tool for helping us be present. BK: Yes, it quiets the mind so that we can listen and get enough understanding to really connect with our children--enough to grasp what they are saying as opposed to what we think they're saying. We have no idea what kids are going through, even when they tell us. So my only job as a parent or grandparent is to really listen to them, and to love love them. Love is the power. SS: What about when children get sassy, mimic us, or roll their eyes at us? BK: If one of my grandchildren mimicked me, it would give me a look at myself. I would get to see how I sound to them and how I look to them. If I don't like that mirror, it shows me how not to approach my grandchild. They are always teaching me. I'm not teaching them; it's the other way around. So it's always about being a student. If we really heard ourselves, we'd understand why our children don't want to listen to us. Can we really listen to them? That's the question. —Byron Katie © 2017 Byron Katie International, Inc. All rights reserved. For more information, visit thework.com