Episode 211: Walking an Impossible Line: Talking Honestly with Your Kids About Their Other Parent

“Mom, did Dad cheat on you?” If and when your child comes to you with questions about why you and your ex are divorcing, do you know how you plan to respond?   This week, Christina McGhee joins me to talk about how to walk the line between not gaslighting your children versus not throwing a co-parent under the bus or telling children truths that might be too hard for them to hear. In this episode, you’ll hear practical strategies for maneuvering this complex situation. This is an important episode for any parent going through a divorce or experiencing hardships in their relationship. As you listen, please remember to allow yourself grace as you walk this difficult journey with your kids.  Featured topics include: How to communicate with kids about the ‘whys’ around the ending of your marriage (4:55) A reminder that you do not need to give a full accounting of your marital issues (13:20) Meet your kids where they’re at, and focus on their feelings. (14:08) You don’t need all of the answers in order to have a conversation with your children. (20:58) Think before you speak and consider: Do you need to share certain information because your child should hear it or because you feel the need to tell it? (23:02) How to respond when your child says their co-parent is not emotionally available to have a conversation or listen to them, and how to help your kids learn to cope. (25:28) Learn more about Christina McGhee:  Christina McGhee, MSW is an internationally recognized divorce parenting expert, speaker, and author. While splitting up is undeniably hard, Christina believes divorce doesn't have to equal devastation for families. She feels with the right kind of information and support, parents have the ability to be a child's absolute best resource when families change.  Throughout her career, she has educated both parents and professionals on how to minimize the impact of divorce on children. In her book, PARENTING APART: How separated and divorced parents can raise happy and secure kids, Christina offers parents useful strategies for dealing with the “real-life” everyday challenges of coparenting.  One of her core beliefs is that divorce doesn’t make you a bad parent, it makes you a parent going through a bad time. Because she is passionate about helping parents get through that bad time, Christina also maintains an active coaching practice that allows her to work with Moms and Dads all over the world. Most recently, Christina launched an online program, Coparenting with Purpose. Designed to provide moms and dads with an easy, convenient way to access critical information, it’s filled with practical tools and solutions for managing the most common coparenting problems. Additionally, she has contributed to several other media projects as a featured expert, a content consultant, and a writer/producer. Currently, she serves as a consulting producer and subject matter expert for the documentaries SPLIT: A film for kids and their parents and Split UP: The Teen Years, two compelling films that let kids know they’re not alone and normalize the many feelings and experiences children and teens encounter when parents part. Married for over twenty-seven years, Christina and her husband live outside of Houston, Texas. As a mom of four (two bonus and two bio) children, she has acquired extensive on-the-job training as a chauffeur, negotiator, short-order cook, scheduler extraordinaire, and finder of all things lost. To find out more, check her out at divorceandchildren.com Resources & Links:Information and links may also be found at: https://kateanthony.com/podcast/episode-211-talking-honestly-with-your-kids-about-their-other-parent