Episode 163: Covert Emotional Abuse with Annette Oltmans

This week I am talking about covert emotional abuse with philanthropist and passionate human rights advocate, Annette Oltmans. Annette helps bring awareness to covert emotional abuse, a dangerous and common form of Domestic Violence. If you are a victim or think you might be a victim, this is a must-listen episode.  Annette’s personal experiences of prolonged emotional abuse in marriage and her extensive journey of recovery including comprehensive field research into the topics of Original Abuse and Double Abuse® ignited her passion for founding The M3ND Project in 2016. Show Highlights: What motivated Annette to found the M3ND Project (6:45) Some of the definitions of covert emotional abuse like blame-shifting or minimization of the victim’s perspective (10:47) Annette shares the four pillars of abuse and what drives abusive thinking (25:50) Realizing you are a victim and changing the worldview of your relationship with your abuser brings on a new layer of stress (40:21) Abuse recovery and insights and advice for those thinking about repairing their relationship after their partner has begun therapy (41:00) Learn more about Annette: Annette Oltmans is a philanthropist and passionate human rights advocate. Annette’s personal experiences of prolonged emotional abuse in marriage and her extensive journey of recovery including comprehensive field research into the topics of Original Abuse and Double Abuse® ignited her passion to founding The M3ND Project in 2016. While seeking the help of professionals and responders, she experienced Double Abuse® in the form of spiritual and institutional abuse. These harmful encounters compelled Annette in her relentless pursuit for solutions that involved interviews with hundreds of victims and survivors. She uncovered common threads that cause victims prolonged states of confusion as well as what ultimately led them towards healing. Her journey also involved interviews with hundreds of faith-based leaders and therapists which led her to discover that most are untrained and ill-equipped to identify and help victims of emotional, verbal, and psychological abuse. In working to prevent and remediate such harm, Annette developed protocoled models that are now being taught and implemented with therapists, churches and professional organizations across the United States. She consulted with esteemed experts in abuse, trauma, and healing to ensure the materials align with the highest professional standards. Annette also serves on the Board of Pepperdine University’s Boone Center for the Family and is a Board of Trustee member of Northrise University in Zambia. Her writing on these topics of abuse, domestic violence, and bullying has been published in the American Association of Christian Counselors (AACC), Teen Vogue, and numerous other publications. Annette is also a contributing author in the newly released book, "Created to Thrive: Cultivating Abuse-Free Safe Communities".