How to Manage Your Emotions

What are emotions? Why do we feel anything at all? And more importantly — can we actually get better at feeling?

In this episode, Drew and I dive headfirst into what might be the hardest question in all of psychology: what the actual f**k are emotions? We break down the biology, neuroscience, evolution, culture, and even language that shape how we feel — and why we often don’t understand what the hell is going on inside us. From ancient philosophy to brain scans, this is a deep (and occasionally weird) look into the emotional chaos that makes us human.

We unpack everything from the origins of emotional intelligence (spoiler: it might be BS) to the science of emotional regulation, attachment styles, and the sneaky ways your culture wires your emotional defaults. Along the way, we explore why some relationships make you feel like a better person while others drain the life out of you, and how trauma, genetics, and childhood with your ability to keep it together.

But this episode isn’t just about understanding emotions — it’s about learning how to work with them. And we give you a full emotional toolkit: a set of evidence-based tools to help you manage your emotions, build better relationships, feel more motivated, and yes — even feel more confident in yourself in the process.

We also put together a free companion guide for this episode with all the takeaways, references, and tools to help you get your sh*t together once and for all. Download it here: https://solvedpodcast.com/emotions

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Chapters:

0:00:00 Introduction0:04:47 Chapter 1: What Are Emotions?0:14:04 The Emotional Brain0:22:03 Neurotransmitters0:34:25 Evolution of Emotions0:39:53 How Life Experiences Shape Emotional Regulation0:48:41 Conclusion on What are Emotions0:49:45 Chapter 2: How Culture Influences Our Emotions0:55:44 Vietnam Bike Story1:00:05 Your Culture Trains You to Want Certain Feelings1:06:00 Culture Decides Whether Suppression is a Superpower or a Liability1:07:56 Paradox of Emotional Conformity1:16:36 How Language Shapes What You Feel1:29:23 Emotional Complexity1:36:25 Your Emotions Are Social Currency1:43:00 Conclusion to Culture defines our emotions1:44:08 Chapter 3: Historical and Philosophical Traditions on Emotions1:57:21 Modern Culture1:59:00 Chapter 4: The Four Schools of Emotional Regulation2:00:56 The Heart2:08:55 The Head2:18:37 The Soul2:28:50 The Body2:36:23 The Integrated Toolkit2:48:25 Chapter 5: Brilliant or Bullshit: Emotional Intelligence2:57:31 Chapter 6: Relationships and Emotional Regulation3:09:54 Attachment Theory3:27:29 Toxic Relationship3:36:49 Building Emotional Compatibility3:51:24 Conclusion Relationships3:57:24 Chapter 7: 80/20

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