Healing Fear of Rejection, Fear of Disappointing Others, Feeling Responsible for Their Emotions & Fear They’ll Leave and Be Better for Someone Else

What a title! We are packing a lot in today. In this episode of Healing Our Relationships, we explore the deep-rooted beliefs that quietly shape compliance patterns—the part of us that abandons our truth to stay safe, to be liked and to avoid loss. These patterns aren’t weakness. They’re survival strategies we learned in environments where our voice didn’t feel welcome. But they cost us. They cost us authenticity. They cost us self-trust. And over time, they keep us from the very connection we long for-connection to ourselves and others.  Together, we’ll explore four core beliefs that often live beneath compliance behaviors: If I speak up, I’ll be rejected:  It’s the fear that our truth will cost us connection. That we’ll be too much. That if we ask for what we need, they’ll leave. So we quiet ourselves. We hold back. We sugarcoat. We speak in half-truths. We edit who we are just enough to stay acceptable and keep the peace.  I’m responsible for how others feel:  This belief convinces us that other people’s discomfort is our fault. We walk on eggshells. We manage their moods. We monitor our every word to prevent someone else’s reaction. But the truth is: You are responsible to people—not for them. You can be kind without controlling. You can be honest without caretaking. We learn that it’s not loving to protect others from their own feelings—it’s enabling. And it’s not loving to take on their emotions at the expense of our own. If I disappoint someone, I’ll lose them: For many of us, this wasn’t just a feeling—it was a lived experience. Love was conditional. Approval came when we performed correctly. Safety meant staying agreeable, available, and easy to be around. So we adapted. We became who others needed us to be.We said yes when everything in our body said no. We became masterful at anticipating needs and avoiding conflict. And disappointment felt like danger. But here’s what this belief forgets: Disappointment is not the same as betrayal. Discomfort is not the same as abandonment. They’ll leave me and find someone better:  Many of us stay in unhealthy relationships because we believe we’re replaceable. That if we walk away, they’ll find someone better. That our absence won’t even matter. But that belief doesn’t come from your soul—it comes from your wounds. The truth is, you are not disposable. You are not interchangeable. But if you stay where you’re not seen or valued, you’ll start to believe you are. In this episode: You’ll learn how these beliefs form, how they play out in relationships, and what it means to meet them with compassion rather than shame. I’ll offer tools, teachings, reflection questions, and small but powerful practices to help you reclaim your voice and come home to your truth. This is the path of coming back to yourself—not to please or perform, but to live in alignment with your integrity, even when it’s uncomfortable. Even when it’s scary. Even when it means someone won’t approve. You are worth it. Come home to yourself.  New episodes drop each week!  And if you’d like to explore this work more deeply in community, join me for my Healing Our Relationships live circle on Zoom on the last Thursday of every month. You’ll also find guided meditations, teachings, and resources in my HealSpace app — your sanctuary for coming home to yourself. Learn more at www.healwithalchemy.com Email me your story submissions, questions or thoughts at [email protected] Follow me on Instagram at @soulalchemyhealing Join me in Sedona this November for Awakening Woman Retreat